Going offline

I am going to be taking this offline and only making my posts available on an invitation only basis for a while.

Bye x

Phew!

Well just this week to go now and then a month's break from work, an enforced holiday period while I convalesce. So it's a fairly busy week sorting things out and trying to fit in clients around my "normal" life and all the stuff I have going on. At least the weather looks set to improve so I can spend some serious time working on the sun-tan if nothing else in the coming weeks!!

Our MPs need a sound spanking!

In light of recent expenses scandals and the apparent ability for MPs to stay on as our representatives when they have "given" the cash they ostensibly knicked back I have to praise this call on the part of Gordon Roddick the co-founder of the bodyshop for disgraced MPs to be able to be recalled. The idea is that we the people can effect change..so I urge you all to sign up and support 38 degrees. Here

Waiting...

I've been waiting for about nine months now, to find out what the hell is going on in my body. It started with a dodgy smear test result, that prompted a more regular smear, which prompted a referral for a colposcopy and another smear and now I'm waiting again, only its the last few hours of waiting to find out what the pathology lab have to say about the biopsies as they have already confirmed the result of the last smear, which matched the previous one. One phonecall is all I'm waiting on and in the meanwhile my mind is racing.

I've been the independent, career, lifestyle type for the last god knows how long and despite friends and even family getting all broody and popping sprogs around me the urge to reproduce has been negligent verging on non-existent up until the last few weeks when the idea of the choice being taken away from me has become more real and that's what I think I don't like about this whole situation, that and the fact that I'm fundamentally not in control, some strange cells on my cervix hold the key to what happens next and there is sweet fuck all I can do about it.

Sure I realise that it may need nothing more than one treatment to remove the cells, and then the chances are they won't come back, but it's hell waiting to find out. The tears keep welling, the bad dreams won't stop coming and the regrets of past decisions made keep jumping up and biting me. I am strung out and possibly the worst type of patient as I have no patience and keep watching the minutes tick by till I think I can reasonably call again, I think everyone in the departments I call now recognise not just my name but my number.

Either way it's going to effect my earning power to some extent as I'm going to have to take some time off as I'm a wuss and have opted to have any treatment done under a general anaesthetic..partly as I'm not into that sort of pain and partly because I'd rather not be aware of my own lack of dignity. And yes that bothers me somewhat, but I can plan for that eventuality, I can control that part of the effect of all this. I can't seem to get my head around the rest of it though. It's a bit like looking down the barrel of a gun and not knowing if it's loaded, or if it is what it's loaded with, blanks, rubber bullets or the one with my name on - and that is what is really bothering me - I just don't know, not a nice position to be in when you're a control freak as I am. I had a dream last night that the guy in the path lab was the one with the box of bullets and an engraving set - talk about fucked up.

Clearly this is pissing about with my mood so I'm off to do something divertionary for a while longer before I can call and chase again.

Redressing the Balance

There are plenty of sites out there where "punters" can review escorts but I have yet to see one where escorts can review clients without the threat of being kicked off/ barred or shouted down or simply silenced for fear of losing income.

Friday night I was booked to see a client from 8pm, who was coming in from Paris now I don't tend to work past 5pm on a friday as I thoroughly enjoy my nights out and hold the time that I have with my boyfriend to be of paramount importance so it was unusual of me to accept it but I had accepted it nonethless and had a lengthy email conversation with the punter in question. (Yes silly me I hadn't spoken to him on the phone.)

But it closed in on 7.30pm and at that stage he should have checked into his hotel, now armed with his email address and the name of the hotel I was able to establish that he was expected at the hotel, but had as yet not checked in... well there are always delays when you travel so nothing out of the ordinary there and it was past the time when you can cancel your hotel room and not forgoe the cash so one can only assume that he has been held up, so I left a message with reception for him to call me when he did arrive, not wishing to trek across town and sit about in a hotel bar for hours on my own. Reasonable behaviour would, I thought, result in a call from him once he checked in perhaps to see if it was still a possibility for me to visit, or to apologise for wasting my time etc etc...

Well it's now Monday and that call never came in and where can I rate him? Nowhere... apart from here of course where he scores an earth shatteringly low zero for being a rude, ignorant timewaster. And yes in hindsight I should have inisted on a phone call to confirm the booking, but I would really like to let other people know about the timewasters, and may be that way we as the angry union could not only improve the way this business works by being able to take more control - a three strikes and you're out policy might be nice, but also at the same time the punters who are reliable and safe would have a better time as they wouldn't be tarred with the same brush as a great many of the losers out there who have zero respect for our time and efforts.

A Change of Scenery

The same four walls can get a little dull, so I'm off out of London to the southwest for 24hours to take in what Bristol has to offer... back to town on Thursday and then the business of getting ready for the party launches gets going in earnest so a busy few days to come.

What's in a name?

I keep being asked where I am from, and granted I am hardly that pale and interesting to pass immediately as English, and my cheekbones are a little on the slavic side, rest assured that I am British and that I do in fact write my own posts and website copy.

The reason that I picked the name that I did when I decided to go pro, was perhaps a little perverse, but not an indication of my provenance or nationality. Yes Alina is a Romanian name, but given that it was also the name of an ex-colleague of mine with whom I have to admit to their being no love lost with, it did appeal to me in a darkly comedic way to use her name instead of the one I was given at birth.

And yes, she may never know, but that doesn't really matter to me, I know and it fills me with a rather warm sense of glee everytime I utter it and smile inwardly to myself. Revenge is sweet even when the other person doesn't know about it, may be particularly when they don't know and would never suspect either.

Now some of you may think this incredibly childish and to you I say who wants to be grown-up? All that being grown-up brings are the unattractive things in life like bills and alarm clocks and far too much responsibility. I'm quite happy being me, myself and Alina.