Did you know I am psychic?

No neither did I but it would appear that lots of people either think that I am or have me confused with Mystic Meg, so as the saying goes if you can't beat them join them I may from here on out start providing psychic readings* and this weeks winning lottery numbers** as I am sick to death of turning all this bullshit work down.

Not only am I supposed to know who everyone is before they identify themseves on the telephone, (yes my phone somehow has to have EVERYONE's number pre-programmed) but I am also supposed to know what everyone's kinks are without them even mentioning them or giving me the slightest clue. I mean FFS! How on earth am I supposed to know that you like your feet bare/stockinged/reeking to high heaven without you telling me you inanne gibbon?? Can we not at least play charades first? That would provide at least the tiniest bit of amusement in a "Rolf Harris - can you guess what it is yet?" style....

Oh and while on this subject...or a related one at least...if your kink doesn't do anything for me and I speak to you respectfully and politely to say as much do the same in return...manners see all comes back to manners and they for one should not be affected by the global economic downturn as they my darlings are still free!!! So use them! Or if you don't have any, I can teach you some... for a fee!

*no responsibility is taken for the accuracy or interpretation of any readings, and no responsibility is taken for your actions.
** no responsibility is taken in regard to any losses you may or may not incur as a direct or indirect result

Shocking!

I was in a particularly bold mood last night, and chatting away to a couple in a bar while out with my partner...decided to answer the "What do you do?" question with some brutal honesty. Well the pair of them nearly fell off their chairs to begin with and then voiced total shock and suprise and disbelief at which point I was foiled by flash and the inability of the iphone to display flash websites. Darn it!

Either way, it amused me greatly and they sure as hell won't forget their first date!

Work / Life Balance

Its hard enough when you work for yourself or work from home to maintain the discipline to switch off and actually stop thinking about work or checking your emails on your blackberry when you're out with friends or a partner. But when you do this sort of work from home it's even more difficult, it's something that most people only do behind closed doors with a partner (and may be a few select people depending on how "out there" you are.) It puts a real strain on things no matter how strong your relationship is, no matter how supportive your partner is and somehow it does need to be put in a box at the end of the day and switched off, not left on standby with a blinking red light in the corner of the room like some sort of evil goggle-box.

I know that I wouldn't be able to do this without the support of my partner, who picks me up on my off-days and gives me the kick up the butt that I need on my lazy days, but I do feel guilty that perhaps I'm not there for him as much as I should be if it's been a particularly hard day and I've had a client who has pushed my limits (it does happen both ways) and I'm exhausted and ratty and stressed out. Or when I am so pissed off that my blood is boiling and I need to let rip I tend to snap at him and I know I want to stop and can see myself doing it but just can't seem to shut-up.

Not only that but it's hard to talk about this kind of thing with any of one's "normal" friends for fear of shocking them, the disapproval factor does count and some people you just know would not approve or understand. So it's a double-life of sorts, two personas or in my case three in one body, me, the sub, and the domme - get's quite crowded in my head at times. And as much as my partner is my rock, I do feel at times that I am demanding too much support, or needing it rather.

This eats into personal time so often...and it's really hard to stop it from doing so. That said, I had never thought it possible to have a relationship in this kind of work, and with each and everyday that I stick with this job, I am monumentally grateful to have someone so special by my side to help me through the crappy bits, the boring bits and the downright maddening bits.

Supply and Demand, Market Economics

I know the media would have us all believe that the end of the world is pretty damn nigh, what with the credit crunch and now swine flu. Although that said swine flu (apart from of course the people who have it) did strike me as quite a positive media spin compared to Gordon Brown on Youtube looking like a fool.

But what really confuses me, and please feel free if you have the answer to pop it on a postcard, is why when the price of bread or milk is only ever going one way, despite all this talk of credit crunches. Then why is it that the price that escorts are charging is going down? And don't try to tell me that demand is down... oh no... come on we all know that blokes will give up bread or milk before they give up sex, and tescos isn't decrying a dairy lake in cheshunt yet - or did you, like me, miss that story?

So... please tell me why the guys advertising their "wants" are dropping their prices faster than a whore's knickers? And expecting the moon on a stick for the princely sum of..wait for it.... £30 an hour in some cases and I am not talking about meeting someone just off the train in King's Cross here. I have a theory, but sadly it makes me sound like a Daily Mail reader...which I am most definitely not..that paper I wouldn't even wrap my chips in for fear of the poisonous ink polluting my potato-based treats. But having spent a fair old while looking at the pages where you can find such things out, it would seem that yes they are coming here and taking our jobs lol. And although market forces should dictate that if the punters were not offering enough to get the goods, they'd have to up their offer....with this influx the median price in fact dips. If only there were a union of sorts or even a fricking cartel we the workers could set the prices and make them fair, rather than this total farce where the sisterhood are all undercutting each other and would be far better off just saying mate you are having a giraffe if you think I'm going to do that for anything less than reasonable money. And I wouldn't have to rant about it.

The Spanking Salon

Not entirely happy without being super busy, I'm launching some new spanking parties on the London party scene, given that there are a very limited number of bdsm/fetish related parties out there. Starting small and hoping to build them up to once a week and then incorporate salons just for submissive men as well as you guys seem to have been completely ignored on the party market (correct me if I am wrong here.)

It's taken quite a lot of work to get to this stage and will I am sure take up quite a lot of my time going forward, but, and this is something that is really close to my heart, having looked at the way the other parties out there are run, which quite frankly I think is disrespectful of the girls who give up their time to take part...I am going to be doing it on a profit share basis, so that all the "spankees" share the takings after the overheads are taken into account. Which I hope will be much fairer than the majority of parties out there, where the organisers cream off the profits and the girls get paid in the region of £175 to £250 for a 3 hour party.

So and clearly I was going to plug them... if you're interested.. click on the link below!

The Spanking Salon

Bad Dominatrix

Someone posted this on one of the message boards I read on a regular basis, and thankfully this was just what I needed to raise a smile this morning.

My preferred writing medium

Four Fingers

Neither...my favourite way of writing is with my nails on my boyfriend's back...

Old fashioned good manners go an awfully long way.

I know that I have been thinking a lot about timewasters these past few days, and I might add had some really useful feedback when I've popped up ranting on various boards about it. But I am starting to think that it's not really anything to do with BDSM, or the industry as a whole...it's more fundamental than that. This is all about manners and respect for people's time, awareness of a world that doesn't revolve around the self.

I don't know if anyone else was told "manners are free" but I certainly hold by that, it costs nothing to say please and thank you, nothing to be courteous and give up a seat on a bus or tube to someone more in need of it than yourself, nothing to play your music at a lower level late at night when you might disturb your neighbours, or to put your litter in the bin rather than throwing it in the street. And these little things are all things that without much thought can be come a good habit, rather than a conscious effort. It actually downright saddens me that a growing proportion of the population both online and in the real world, and particularly in the situations where the two meet, seem to forget any good habits and start to behave in such a way as to become obnoxious and dare I say it quite arrogant in the assumption that when no one is looking on - no one else exists. So you can say what you like, do what you like and because its just other people who gives a flying monkey?

See I wouldn't mind if a client called with an extraordinarily elaborate excuse as to why they couldn't make a session with me - so long as they did actually do so...heavens above real life happens and things need to be dealt with so yes of course sometimes plans change. But these are people who I dare say are perfectly polite and courteous in everyday life, probably thank the cashier in sainsburys, or hold a door open for the next person entering or leaving behind them. And yet when it comes to keeping an appointment with me all this goes out the window and I am expected to just shimmer off into the distance of the ether without any need for a by your leave, or in some cases any contact at all. Now yes there are some people who do get in touch but I would say that the majority of them are not newcomers to this and extend courtesies to everyone they come across. And yes I can fully understand that you might be nervous about coming to see me, particularly if it is a first time, and have cold feet about it or even decide that it is something best kept as fantasy for now, I would even respect someone for saying "actually, do you know what, I have decided that I'd rather see someone else" but to simply drop all communication and disappear is I am afraid the height of bad manners.

I can see why some Dommes insist on a nominal deposit - something small enough as to be reasonable but significant enough as to deter people from welching on an appointment. You see we have to prepare and do some work for each appointment, so that you get the most you can from us in that session, and many Dommes don't see multiple clients in a day - you might have several things on that day, we have quite possibly turned down many things to honour the commitment we have made to spend time with you and it doesn't cost more than a text, an email or a quick call with a couple of hours notice to extend the courtesy that you would to anyone else to us...do you know what we might even respect you for it.

What my shoes say about me

Well I have on my snakeskin heels, with the very fine heel which might indicate something against reptiles, or may be just a penchant for snakeskin quite frankly all they say to me is... I'm at work.

The bareback phenomenon

I am constantly surprised/shocked/disgusted by the proliferation of punters and escorts alike offerring and seeking bareback sex. Now I grew up petrified of contracting HIV or AIDS and simply can't comprehend how someone, no matter how hard up or strapped to find business can possibly contemplate allowing a perfect stranger to have unprotected sex with them, even if it means an extra £50 along the way. I don't think there is anything that would be enough of an incentive to persuade me to even consider it, let alone give it any real amount of thinking time.

But there are 100's of girls who do, on a daily basis, and punters who request it online everyday...despite the fact that last year alone 7,400 people a day contracted HIV last year. With figures like that surely there's got to be a higher chance of contracting HIV than there is of picking the winning numbers in the lottery?? The even scarier thing is that half of that number are under 24 years of age... an entire generation seems to have grown up without a clue to the danger, and quite frankly I don't accept a man saying "oh but sex is better without" - no sorry fuck that! Sex is better if you're healthy and stay healthy, not if you're playing russian roulette with the cock that this currently attached to the wallet that you're trying to earn a share of.

The sickest thing is that people are not even shy about asking for bareback sex, even in the swinging community there seems to be an obsession with it, if the chatrooms are anything to go by it's rife and not just among the stereotypical idea that many people have of swingers (you know what I mean, the balding, potbellied late middle-aged men with their brassy wives) but among the growing number of early twenties sexperiementalists that are out there as well. Clearly given what I do I'm not a prude, but I cannot for a second begin to contemplate what possesses these significantly sizeable portions of the population to gamble with their health.

And yes I know some people swear that they are "certificated" (terrible word) and thoroughly clean, etc , etc, but people have fake ID, why trust any other piece of paper presented to you? But what puzzles me the most is that when you question anyone who proclaims outwardly to support the practice, they tend to go deathly quiet, clam up and refuse to discuss it with you - I dare you ...try it.. wander in to a chatroom somewhere and raise the question in a suitable room and you will be frozen out. I'd put money on it.

Does anyone out there have a reason that can really back up the decision? Or am I perhaps not so wrong in supposing that this is one of the least respectful acts anyone could ask someone to perform.

Female Dominants as Porn Delivery

One thing that has really begun to niggle is the number of men out there claiming to be submissive, but when push comes to shove and they make an appointment to see a Pro-domme they are the ones who want to stipulate, right down to the very last detail what will happen or not happen in a session. Now don't get me wrong they are paying for the service in the same way that they would to see an escort so to some extent yes the consumer has the right to stipulate much as they would with a tailor what they want to receive in exchange for their dinari.

But..and this is quite a large but.. if they were truly submissive surely they would be saying things like "it's entirely up to you"..."I just wish to serve" etc etc...instead of "oh I'd like this, that, the next thing, for you to be wearing x,y and z, oh and then I want you to do this to me, and then I want you to force me to do that..." most of the time the scenarios that I get emailed would not look out of place in really bad porn, alongside the pizza delivery boy at the door with the "XXX sausage pizza" or the plumber who is far more interested in her waterworks than her sink. You get the picture?

I do wonder what these guys label themselves as submissive for, when truth be told they just want to be able to script a scene and have someone act it out on them. BDSM is perhaps becoming the victim of its own recent success and popularity, the watering down and trickle to the high street shops instead of the more underground and suspicious thing it once was. Just about every twentie-something on a dating site seems to proclaim a tendancy towards kink and kinkiness is now no longer dark and intriguing when you can get it in Ann Summers.

As a switch, and sub to my dominant partner, I wouldn't unless asked expect to have input into a scene, I take orders and even if I am not wholely comfortable with something because it's pushing my limits I know I have to at least try it. I certainly would not expect to be allowed to dictate and script something that basically resulted in my pleasure and my other half simply being the method of delivery. Yes you could argue that if I was paying him I might have the right to, but for me submission is about giving those rights up willingly and sometimes less willingly of course, but giving them up none the less. Placing myself under his control and trusting him to keep me safe while challenging me, and making sure that he also enjoys and gets pleasure from the session or scene.

All I see from the pseudo-subs that contact me is a collection of emails that leave me for the most part completely cold and wondering why they don't just ask a more vanilla woman to pop on an outfit and act the role. Because really they want to play games rather than actually experience submission at the hands of a dominant female.

Some of course are genuine...but I would have to say that it can only be 1 in 10, and that is a figure influenced I am sure by the sun shining in the window and lightening my mood.