I'm all for the global economy.......

But... not if it means having to come across little shits like I have in the last 24hours....

I got an email from a site that I use, from a little submissive Indian fellow who claimed to want a daily session of two hours for the remainder of this month and all of next... well fine but that's a lot of work and having offerred him a discount on my normal rate I was expecting to see him yesterday morning for his first session. Well hey presto guess who didn't turn up and proceeded to tell tales about his boss suddenly needing him...hmm and he couldn't text to say so?

Anyway I gave him the benefit of the doubt and agreed to see him later in the day only this time when he called me 10 mins before the session was due to start it was to tell me that he was in negotiations with another domme for a significantly smaller sum which would have effectively left her working for 60 hours at for £2000 ....seems a little ridiculous to me as that equates to all of £33.33 an hour... now that to me sounds (a) highly unlikely and (b)so bargain basement that all he deserves for that is an inflatable doll in leathers with a mechanical whip. Or may be I should have outsourced it to India, only he said there were no strong women in India... another complete load of bollocks but par for the course from the little worm of a man.

So anyway I have just had yet another amusing interlude on msn and email with this little chappy in which he effectively accused me of being a street whore... (hmm me thinks he has a very strange idea of pricing for an accountant) and all English women of being after his foreign currency. Well he's certainly not in Mumbai now is he toto?

I do so hate the arrogance of jumped up little pricks like him, who think that it is perfectly acceptable to try and screw you out of the cash which this service commands, and then to waste your time, not once but twice in a day. Quite what his idea of compensation for 4 hours of time wasted would be I would love to but will never know... it certainly wasn't going to be a fair one.

The funniest part is he has the highest opinion of himself going that I have ever come across in a submissive male... christ alone knows which rock he dragged himself out from underneath but I sincerely hope that for those of us in this industry he hops a plane back underneath it as soon as possible.

And should I ever have the displeasure of him crossing my path again...boy oh boy he'd better hope I can't hit a moving target with high heels on!

Advice for male subs

I just took a call from a submissive man who clearly needs an education which given the fact that it is a really simple premise is probably something that all men should know.

Dress sizes - they are there for a reason...and it's not just so that we can give you a number, although male minds do seem so obsessed by digits... your waist size, your hip size, your bust size, your dress size, your phone number - jesus I am sometimes suprised we haven't all got bar codes so that you men can wander about with little bar code readers to your little hearts content!!!

Anyway dumbo called and asked if he would be able to come for a session of domination and submission and would it be ok for him to be dressed as a school girl...well of course it would be, apart from the fact that most men are about as convincing as Britney Spears as Jo Brand was in Comic relief.... I have no issue with it - it's his kink.

But to suggest that he was a size 14-16 Uk dress size and then to ask if I would be able to provide him something from my wardrobe...myself being a 10 is a complete joke. Size 10 is not and has never meant to be worn by a size 16 - the clue is there in the numbers man!!!
I do not want some biffa stretching my clothes...and I don't happen to have old knickers that you can stretch either - lingerie is not cheap and is also not designed to be worn by the wrong number.... simple lesson really stick to your size and buy your own clothes! Oh and we are not all like Bridget Jones.

Wake up smell the coffee and do the math!

Canned Cane

I've been working on marketing stuff and found a few sites to list on - one brought me a client the other day.....just in from abroad who wanted to cane me...well what a fucking waste of time.... I'm not a morning person but had got up, showered, dressed all by 10.30 for this guy. The cane was getting an unusual first outing with a first time client, but the trepidation was all in vain.

He walked in, I made some pleasantries found out a little about him and then he asked to see the canes..so I showed him through and if he could have turned his nose up any further he'd have been able to sniff his own bum... "Is that the only cane you have?" well blow me the damn thing hurts enough...but seems his lordship has a thing for rattan only...and promptly left... not once when we had spoken on the phone had he asked about the cane...only when he arrived. Silly arse would have saved himself a journey and me the effort of getting up if he had only been clearer about his sodding fetish for rattan in the first place.

Needless to say I was put out about it and 30mins later thought of the line I should have come out with in response to his glib put-down of my cane... something along the lines of I could buy more canes but he'd always be a slightly greasy looking accountant! Git!