Old fashioned good manners go an awfully long way.

I know that I have been thinking a lot about timewasters these past few days, and I might add had some really useful feedback when I've popped up ranting on various boards about it. But I am starting to think that it's not really anything to do with BDSM, or the industry as a whole...it's more fundamental than that. This is all about manners and respect for people's time, awareness of a world that doesn't revolve around the self.

I don't know if anyone else was told "manners are free" but I certainly hold by that, it costs nothing to say please and thank you, nothing to be courteous and give up a seat on a bus or tube to someone more in need of it than yourself, nothing to play your music at a lower level late at night when you might disturb your neighbours, or to put your litter in the bin rather than throwing it in the street. And these little things are all things that without much thought can be come a good habit, rather than a conscious effort. It actually downright saddens me that a growing proportion of the population both online and in the real world, and particularly in the situations where the two meet, seem to forget any good habits and start to behave in such a way as to become obnoxious and dare I say it quite arrogant in the assumption that when no one is looking on - no one else exists. So you can say what you like, do what you like and because its just other people who gives a flying monkey?

See I wouldn't mind if a client called with an extraordinarily elaborate excuse as to why they couldn't make a session with me - so long as they did actually do so...heavens above real life happens and things need to be dealt with so yes of course sometimes plans change. But these are people who I dare say are perfectly polite and courteous in everyday life, probably thank the cashier in sainsburys, or hold a door open for the next person entering or leaving behind them. And yet when it comes to keeping an appointment with me all this goes out the window and I am expected to just shimmer off into the distance of the ether without any need for a by your leave, or in some cases any contact at all. Now yes there are some people who do get in touch but I would say that the majority of them are not newcomers to this and extend courtesies to everyone they come across. And yes I can fully understand that you might be nervous about coming to see me, particularly if it is a first time, and have cold feet about it or even decide that it is something best kept as fantasy for now, I would even respect someone for saying "actually, do you know what, I have decided that I'd rather see someone else" but to simply drop all communication and disappear is I am afraid the height of bad manners.

I can see why some Dommes insist on a nominal deposit - something small enough as to be reasonable but significant enough as to deter people from welching on an appointment. You see we have to prepare and do some work for each appointment, so that you get the most you can from us in that session, and many Dommes don't see multiple clients in a day - you might have several things on that day, we have quite possibly turned down many things to honour the commitment we have made to spend time with you and it doesn't cost more than a text, an email or a quick call with a couple of hours notice to extend the courtesy that you would to anyone else to us...do you know what we might even respect you for it.